Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
