Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
