He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
