Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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