this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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