I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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