you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
3 2 1 whiskey
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
