I heard we made out
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
