I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
