I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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