awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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