We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I take back everything I said about communal showers
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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