i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
