I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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