New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize