Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
