don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
