Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
love makes seman taste better
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
