I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want to make a zoo with you.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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