dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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