Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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