This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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