If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
