with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
vagina is talking i cant
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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