Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize