I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
