what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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