I need help removing her.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
