This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Let's paint friendship bongs
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
