You smell like stripper and shame
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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