Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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