She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
