Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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