We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
