She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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