i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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