I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
