Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
