I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
