i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
