when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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