he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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