Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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