Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
