apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
