I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We need to get me chipped asap
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
