if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Can I color on your dick again?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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