Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
