so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
