..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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