we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
