he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
