I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
