I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
