Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Randomize
