god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
