Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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