is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dick very happy bro
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
