I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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