Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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