There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
