glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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