Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
wow bdsm is so cute
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
