Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
