hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
